Trying to Understand

For some time now, I have been praying to God and hopelessly wishing that I could get better. When I realized that there was to be no cure, I prayed to God for him to take me to be near Him. When I received nothing, I began to consider where I had made a mistake. I thought if the whole universe and our world could exist with all the prayers of all mankind, why could not my prayers heal me? After thinking long and hard, I decided that we have been asking God to give us this or give us that, and even do this or do that, as if we are teaching God how to do His work. When they put Abraham in the fire, Angel Gabriel asked Abraham if he had anything for him to bring to God’s attention. Abraham answered back with the question: “What can I say to God”, for He already sees what is happening to him. For this reason, I stop requesting how this and that should be.

Instead I pray with my words:

My dear God, It is You who hears all and sees all and is all knowing. Please open the right doors for us your humble souls to go through. We, your believers, as we humbly request and accept your mercy, as our hands open up to you for your giving, let our receiving be in your mercy’s guidance with your universal compassion.

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