Purgatory

Famous Turkish folk poet Asik Veysel put it so beautifully: “I am walking on a long and narrow path traveling day and night“. Like him, as I was walking on my path with a door at my beginning and another at the end, I suddenly found myself fallen into a bottomless well. My clothes were stuck on the rugged stones as I fell along the way, and I found myself neither falling down nor being able to climb up. Stuck along the way and my life is hanging in the balance. Everybody’s fate is where their destiny resides and that is my Purgatory.

In Humanity’s flame, I have been transformed into embers of my existence, as I thought my soul was extinguished, my body flamed up again. Every time I have learned about death even before the time of dying. And now, I am waiting at the Purgatory of my life, while one side is Hell, and I am delighted that I am not there, and the other side is Heaven, wondering why I can’t enter. God never keeps His beloved waiting for eternity. I hope that He will bless me with what He sees will be my deserving.

In this time of waiting, my husband Sinan and my sister Zerrin also burned with the intense heat of the flames that embraced my life’s purification. Body will cleanse with the purity of water, but the soul shall be purified only by fire. Who knows, maybe the reasons of their fate is manifested through my cleansing. I can never pay them back for their compassion and magnitude of their giving. And for that reason, I pray every moment I am alive, that God shall never cause them misery or pain, agony and hardship, or undue troubles in their lives.

God, please honour all their wishes that are born from the purity of their hearts. Please bless their beings as your Holy houses for their souls, as your greatness uplifts their destinies from their lives here risen up to your Seventh Heaven. Please reserve their place in your Paradise.

Amen.

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